Surprised
by Joy
When I heard that phrase a moment
or so ago the day wobbled a bit.
Awareness catching me off guard, I was in truth, surprised by joy. Not
like C. Lewis’s religious conversion nor Wordsworth’s tipover into grief,
just a simple flash of knowing. Yes, knowing. In the midst of an ordinary
day doing ordinary things, feeding the dog I think, a flash of joy
unattached to anything -- by itself, pure, sweet, ephemeral. No trumpets
fanfare no fainting like some medieval saint I simply leaned against the
table top for balance and placed the dog’s breakfast on the floor where
she could gobble it up, experiencing her joy.
The moment lengthened, stretched along a path of sunlight on the
Awareness catching me off guard, I was in truth, surprised by joy. Not
like C. Lewis’s religious conversion nor Wordsworth’s tipover into grief,
just a simple flash of knowing. Yes, knowing. In the midst of an ordinary
day doing ordinary things, feeding the dog I think, a flash of joy
unattached to anything -- by itself, pure, sweet, ephemeral. No trumpets
fanfare no fainting like some medieval saint I simply leaned against the
table top for balance and placed the dog’s breakfast on the floor where
she could gobble it up, experiencing her joy.
The moment lengthened, stretched along a path of sunlight on the
kitchen floor and faded slowly into a warmth I felt in my fingertips.
Living in
the moment, that kingpin of Eastern thought I presumed to
understand, to search for and very occasionally achieve had suddenly
found me! I believe now that that is the way it does happen.
Understanding, searching for, achieving are words for actions that
preclude an object or a place, a thing with a name. Joy comes out of a
moment like the “crack” of Jim Talone’s baseball bat, a feeling so far
above the physical experience that let it happen.
understand, to search for and very occasionally achieve had suddenly
found me! I believe now that that is the way it does happen.
Understanding, searching for, achieving are words for actions that
preclude an object or a place, a thing with a name. Joy comes out of a
moment like the “crack” of Jim Talone’s baseball bat, a feeling so far
above the physical experience that let it happen.
Maybe it is a gift we give
ourselves. Happiness, pleasure come from
achievement or awareness but joy splits our lives for a moment and lets
the light stream in, cosseting, warming, not blinding but letting us SEE.
achievement or awareness but joy splits our lives for a moment and lets
the light stream in, cosseting, warming, not blinding but letting us SEE.
.