Surprised by Joy

When I heard that phrase a moment or so ago the day wobbled a bit. 

Awareness catching me off guard, I was in truth, surprised by joy.  Not

like C. Lewis’s religious conversion nor Wordsworth’s tipover into grief, 

just a simple flash of knowing. Yes, knowing. In the midst of an ordinary

day doing ordinary things, feeding the dog I think, a flash of joy 

unattached to anything -- by itself, pure, sweet, ephemeral.  No trumpets

 fanfare  no fainting like some medieval saint I simply leaned against the

 table top for balance and placed the dog’s breakfast  on the floor where

 she could gobble it up, experiencing her joy.

The moment lengthened, stretched along a path of sunlight on the 

kitchen floor and faded slowly into a warmth I felt in my fingertips.

Living in the moment, that kingpin of Eastern thought I presumed to

understand, to search for and very occasionally achieve had suddenly

found me! I believe now that that is the way it does happen.

Understanding, searching for, achieving are words for actions that

 preclude an object or a place, a thing with a name.  Joy comes out of a

 moment like the “crack” of Jim Talone’s baseball bat, a feeling so far 

above the physical experience that let it happen.

Maybe it is a gift we give ourselves. Happiness, pleasure come from

achievement or awareness but joy splits our lives for a moment and lets

 the light stream in, cosseting, warming, not blinding but letting us SEE.

.