The
Book of 90
A primer:
First of all, of course, you have to get
here. I’ve spent a lot of time and literally thousands of words chronicling that
endeavor in the last few years. What a full, rich, adventurous journey it has
been but a journey it is and so has a beginning and an end. In the beginning we
stumble, stagger and flop about learning how to be, to handle what we call
life. It comes without a primer so we write it as we go along. Unfortunately
there is no Spell Check and some of us, find punctuation to be a thorny path.
For those of us who do make it here, shouldn’t
we be able to take charge a bit, as experts in the field? This time, couldn’t
we write the instructions ahead of time, the How-tos? Shouldn’t we?
I think I will.
1.
Have
fun with it.
“Next year, in six months, in a month and
a half, next June 21st I will be 90 years old!”
“No, I can’t believe it! I wouldn’t have
thought – you don’t look it – wow,” turning to the next person in line, “Did
you hear, look at her, she’s going to be 90!”
It’s fun to shake up the Weight Watchers
line, to come up with my overworked response, “People say I should ask for a
recount!” Chuckle, chuckle.
It
is easier over the phone, “Next year, in six months, June 21st
---- “Oh no. can’t be – you sound
so young, so __”, and we are off again.
I‘m embarrassed, yes, but we have to play
the humor card when it comes, there’s not a lot of them of late, the deck is
slimmer now.
2.
Show off.
This can be a perk. People expect a certain amount of slippage in
one at ninety:
Memory.
“I can’t remember, when was that, what
do you mean, I don’t know which way to go.“
Brushing aside a momentary lapse or two, I can dazzle anyone with the
really large supply of trivia I’ve collected over the years. I even wow my children occasionally with some
erudite bit of ‘knowing’.
Word
finding difficulty. Hem and haw a
little, that’s natural at any age, but try a diversionary tactic, look across
the room expectantly, “Oh, there’s Dottie – oops, sorry, she’s gone,” this as
they turn their heads to see an old friend, “maybe it wasn’t her, anyway. Now,
what were we talking about?” By this time you have recalled the word or if not,
no problem, they have probably forgotten too.
Tricks of the trade, tricks of the trade.
3. Be
physical
This is more difficult,
however, if you are lucky, like me there’s still a lot you can do. Skip quickly
over those activities that no longer seem so easy, natural, like sprinting
quickly, gracefully, up and down stairs. Show them instead how you can still
sit cross-legged on the floor! Okay, at this point you can’t get up without
help, but for a minute they are in awe.
4.
Be eccentric
It goes without saying that
having reached this lofty goal we are certainly entitled to be ourselves,
unique, silly, noisy, messy free of constraints. Not as a protest, not a
negative freedom, a positive, glowing acceptance of every used-to-be hidden
aspect of our selves. Surprise yourself
with how bold, how scary and out of the box you can be!
Shock people? Disillusion
some? Can’t be helped. No longer what they think or hope we are -- content with
what we’ve learned, happy for the tattered bits and pieces of life we’ve
carried with us. Let’s hear it for 90!
5.
Pontificate
Ah, this is the glory of
being 90. You can be the Sage, the giver of wisdom, the
Pontificator. No one can argue, they haven’t been here yet! A few of your age-compatriots will poke you
in the ribs, sneak a knowing laugh and play the game with you! You deserve a
little adulation, a few ooooooo’s and ahhhhhhh’s. You’ve worked hard to get
where you are, put up with the pseudo-patience of people who whisper behind
your back, “She’s really slipping, can’t remember, getting feeble….”.
Make grand pronouncements,
tell how it is, revel in the age brings wisdom game.
This brings us back to the
beginning --- Have fun with it!
6.
Celebrate
Make a great cake out of
your favorite memories, big enough to hold all 90 candles. Ice it with the
splendid years of being you, cut yourself a slice, a big one, taste it, lick
your fingers to get every last sweet morsel.
There’s still more to come but, just now at this lovely pivot point;
review, remember, treasure and enjoy.
A Primer should always have
a summary and perhaps suggestions for “what comes next.”
Life
Live it always to the fullest --- then just
throw it away. It was a hoot, a roller coaster ride on a summer night, a long,
lovely moment that you held in your hand, a drama, a comedy, a cliff-hanger
that did not disappoint. There was always something else, down the road, around
the corner. You’ve lived it, you’ve loved it -- now let it go…
Empty,
empty,
empty…
so when it’s time to go the
autumn breeze will just blow you away,
a leaf, crisp and full of
color to lie in sweet surrender on the
cooling grass.
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